Accident
by PaigexPurgatory
Summary: You never know how much it hurts until it breaks your heart. Ten2/rose sad one shot. This is my first doctor who fix! Reviews are nice, I like them, even if they are mean


Sometimes there is nothing, no words, no paint or canvas, that can sum up what has happened to you. Somedays all the stars mean nothing, all the adventures are worthless.

Maybe the steady, rhythmic dripping was driving you insane, or maybe it's the screaming, your sobbing, that was the trigger. But you sit up, you let the weight slip down to the pavement, a soft thud. Fingers uncurl from the linen fabric and you are confused, your lungs feel tight, and you are ripping at your clothes, because this pain is familiar, but you have forgotten what it means. But it hurts, it hurts so goddamn bad that you start clawing at your jacket and soon you are in the snow, on a curb, and you don't know how you have gotten so lost.

But he is dead, and you are here and suddenly it becomes for too real. His one heart gives in, his blood has stopped flowing and there is no golden light. He was just trying to save you, love you. He was trying so damn hard to be human. You were happy, he was happy.

You think back. The first day you lived in the flat together, the doctor, your doctor, tried to make breakfast. The smell of burning woke you, he was yelling at the stove. Something about how he no longer appreciated its primitive human contraption. And you smile and hug him from behind and you both laugh. But today there is only tears.

Then there was this morning. The doctors glowing smile, telling you he is off to town, "seeing a man about a moon" he said, you smiled sleepily. But soon it's late and he hasn't called. So you do. He doesn't answer, so you wait, and you call again. There is no answer. So you go into town, you go to his office, they say he's just left. The office secretary leaves soon, and rose is alone waiting in the office. It been only a few minutes when you see the doctor.  
You see him across the street and he sees you in the window. He smiles, a goofy grin that eased all of your worries, for a moment. He waits till the light turns red, even though it is late and most people have gone to bed.

A car speeds around the corner, through the red light and your heart stops. You shout through the window, bang on the glass, but it's too late, and you are running. The driver doesn't stop. You fall the doctor side and scream for the him to keep going, and curse that no magic blue box can save him. But he is shaking and he looks up " my rose , my beautiful rose Tyler I-" and then there is nothing.  
You put your face to his chest and listen for the heart beat that you have built your life around and it never comes.  
So you are here, knotting your fingers into his hair and letting the blood freeze to your hands on the abandon street. Because it was a car, a car that killed the great doctor. It seemed too easy, too human. But the doctors double is dead. And you are crying and cold and alone again, another companion left behind. You feel selfish for thinking that way. But god you loved him, and he loved you and it was not suppose to end this way.  
Some one is touching your shoulders, pulling you away and you don't realize that you are still crying, silently, and that your fingers have turned blue all knotted up in his brown hair. Someone must have called the emergency, and they are trying to pry you off the body of your best friend, your fiancé, your everything.

You hear no sirens, no clamoring emts, only your own struggling and sobbing.  
The emts swarm him until you can't see his blood streaked face at all. "Give him back, give him back now" you plead.  
The man finally says something "rose, please rose stop, he's gone now, stop, please stop" he keeps holding you. " it's not your fault" you will never know who was holding you, you suspect it was jack, because the man was crying too.

A few minutes pass, then a few hours, then days. Still you can't breathe, every corner, every cloud and every constellation reminds you of him. So one day you find yourself sitting on the curb, outside a hotel you haven't checked into yet, on a street you don't know the name of. That day you let the rain drench though your clothes and curl the ends of your hair. That day you forgive yourself for letting him go.

You let yourself think about his smile, and the way his hair flops in all directions when he wakes up in the morning. You admire the crazed look he gets when touchwood made him use a computer at work and the wonder in his eyes when he saw a conflict resolved. You loved his passion, and his humor and the way his skin felt on yours. Above all else you miss the small things l, you would give anything to have him back, but you finally understand that he was there for a reason and he was worth the heartbreak.  
Sometimes you cannot describe what has happen to you, sometimes it is too horrible to comprehend. But one day, the pain will end, and your heart will open and all the things that used to burn so badly will be the reason you get up in the morning. Because everything you have lost, needs to mean something in the end.


End file.
